Outta Site...

People who know me think I am forgetful. Allright, allright. I AM. But my memory does strange things...I can remember useless details about certain unimportant events, like what T-shirt my date was wearing when we saw City of Angels 15 years ago, but have no recollection of things that you would expect me to remember, like how long Henry's birth took. No idea. (It was late at night.) So I need visual reminders of things. Lots of them. Journaling helps me because I can look back on the notes from my life. I have been writing the old fashioned way quite a bit lately. In an actual book. Remember doing that all night about the cute eagle scouts in your ward when you were 14? Yeah, me too. Times have changed. I had decided that my life was too tragic to be used as facebook foder and for frenemies to glance at on blogspot for entertainment, so I quit updating everything. Now I've decided that a) my life is not that tragic, b) no one reads my blog anyway, c) I need a visual reminder of events and d) who cares if people read about my personal disappointments for entertainment. This is American reality TV culture and it's just what we all do. One sad thing about me blogging is that it only works for me if I don't read Nor's blog. Our lives follow the same paths just in different towns and we tend to think about similar issues, so if I check hers first, then I just wallow and mope around for days about why I didn't think to post such and such first. So I haven't read it. I'm sure interesting things are happening in her life right now and I am missing them. We'll see how long I can hold out. Finally, if I write again, besides saving me having to repeat the mold story, the we're starting our own business story, the asthma story, the "I love my husband" story, the "I hate my husband" story etc., it gives me some tiny slice of my identity back. Much needed, at this point. And yes, I'll get to all those. PS...this blog needs a better name. Clearly, no one calls Harrison "Fuzzy" anymore. And plus, he's not the only child now either. So I dunno. For the time being, I guess I'm Fuzzy. But feel free to play "name that blog" if you're so inclined. As a general update: we live in Irvine again. I love it. It's paradise. I'm staying. My ward feels like home. No our business is not in the black yet, but it will be. We haven't been paid in 10 months. It's hard. You have no idea how hard. Yes, we are eating. Yes we have to go to court because Henry has asthma now because of the moldy house. No, we're not pregnant. Stay tuned.

Parenting SOS

OK, so today was Harrison's first day of pre-pre-school. Totally adorable, he was so excited, had the "pack-pack" and the friends there, got to learn stuff and play and have snacks and it was super cute. Now what should have been a perfectly magical day was tainted by his behavior after class. He was really excited, granted, because we have really built up the idea of school, so he was running around the yard when he got out of class with the biggest grin on his face. Then he took off down the street. Hadley followed him a little ways, but Kiley said, "FREEZE!" and she did, what a good girl! Harrison kept going. So I'm dragging my slow pregnant self after my child and then he turns into the street. My worst nightmare. Charity, another pre-school Mom, was pulling away in her minivan but saw him in time and stopped thank goodness, otherwise he probably would have been hit.

I seriously can't take this anymore. Harrison has been defiant on a lot of different things, and we've worked through them. He's better in restaurants now, at the grocery store, he picks up toys. He's come a long way on a lot of things. So why is it the one thing that could really endanger his life is the thing he chooses to ignore me on. I have seriously had nightmares of him getting hit where I sit up in bed in a cold sweat. We have tried sooooo many consequences.... When he runs he has to wear his kid leash the rest of the day, he's had toys taken away, time-outs, spankings (my least favorite option). I've tried explaining to him in terms that I think he can grasp. Ie: Do you remember what happened to Nemo when he ran away? Someone took him and his Daddy was so sad. But this issue keeps resurfacing. Today when we got home he got his biggest and most adored toy taken away, his train table. I packed the whole thing up and put it in the trunk of my car and told him he can't have it back until he shows me he won't run in the street. What else can I do? We can't lock ourselves away forever. Although I did for the rest of the day today.

So anyone have any other advice? Am I missing something here? Because I'm about to lose my mind. How do I solve this? Please help me save this adorable little boy from himself.

Two Shopping Emergencies

Co@ch scarf...worked great on 4th of July

So I got an interesting phone call today from Co@ch. They would like help over Black Friday. I told them to put me on the list as a "yay". Never mind the fact that baby Henry is due in October and we might be moving (out of state) I MISS MY DISCOUNT. You know how I am...total sucker for a deal and an even bigger sucker for designer wears. I just like beautiful, well made things. Can you blame me? There is so much ugly in the world. And if you can get top of the line-imported from italy-hand stiched-functional hardware-boning-authentic ANYTHING at 65% off, then you should do it. Plus girls, have you seen their shoes? And their silver? And their silk scarves? There's a whole lot more than handbags going on at that place.

Anyway, this leads me to my next topic of discussion. Inside shoes. Shoes that are only worn inside (so they stay clean because Pat and I have a clean floor obsession) AND because I'm pregnant and my tile is KILLING my feet. Pain radiating up the legs, I can't walk barefoot anymore. Corey, best friend from high school, also pregnant, came over the other day and noticed it too. Her feet hurt. Is it possible my tile is more hurty than other tile? Yes. I'm not sure why or how, but it is. Must be something to do with the faux slate thing.

So I want a pair of slip on sneakers. Clogs, mules, whatever you call them, but sneakers without backs that I can step into because I can't bend over at 7.5 months pregnant. I have looked everywhere. DSW. Zappos. Puma, New Balance (Pat says we should buy American), and Saucony online. Scoured Dillards, Nordstrom, the Rack and Piperlime. And do you know what I've found? A whole lot of ugly. And it's over-priced ugly, the worst kind. Take these puppies for example....The Merrell. Meets Pat's US made pre-req, but I'm having trouble convincing myself that they're even cute in the hippie sort of way, which is the most lenient fashion sub-category. What do you think....


Then there's the New Balance sneaker mule. I could pretend I'm a nurse.


Everything else is too easy-spirit-ish, I'm not in my fifties yet or it's too Sketcher-y, ie: not enough arch support. Maybe I could get off bed rest and clean my filthy house if I had some decent arch support.

For those of you thinking I should get slippers, believe me I've tried. My tile eats slippers for breakfast. Holes right through the squishiest cutest Target slippers in just a couple weeks. So, any other suggestions? What are the most comfortable slip on shoes you've ever worn and where can I buy them on sale?

Catching UP

So since my December post we've had Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's, a complete re-evaluation of our lives and a period of traveling tempered by the necessity of settling back into routine. Way too much to blog about, so here are the highlights: Grandma Alice was here for Christmas so Harrison was totally spoiled. He got a ride on excavator that he loves and still plays with three months later, hooray.


New Year's was our return to going out...I re-accquainted myself with things like sequins, high-heels and multiple colors of eye-shadow. Never thought you'd hear that outta me? Neither did I. What a great night...we saw this band Hungry Cloud at the Bunkhouse, had dinner at this cool downtown grill that had a little DJ lounge in it, and caught the fireworks over the strip on the drive home. Yes that means we were going home at midnight. We're definately parents! Out by 8, in by 12. Still, it was a perfect night.




Valentine's Day was great...had dinner at but our server was slow so we missed our movie. That was actually great though because we went home and had time to talk and be together without being exhausted. Oh yeah, and somewhere in there I decided that I was going to be happy regardless of what the economy or other people or work are doing. I realize this might be hard to do in some moments, but dog-gone it, I'm going to do it. And I know I can because of Harrison. I love our time together so much. He's the coolest kid. And really, what do I have to be sad about? Have I lost a limb? No. Am I living in a tent ? No. In fact, it's like I get to play hookie everyday with my son and find fun things to do. Sure there's some bill paying and necessity in there, and the IRS would like to know about that mistake we made that year but who cares. I'm soaking in every second I have with him right now. Two and a half is amazing. It's the best age ever. He shakes me out of bed in the morning and says, "Up Mommy! Up Mommy! Time for an adventure!!" Exactly.

So during Pat's last two trips to Boston, we decided not to sit at home and be lonely, trapped on our island. We went to GrandMama's house.

We hit the beach in Santa Monica and built sand castles and jumped over ankle slappers and played and got sand everywhere and it was fun.

Then we went to the new big kid park in Glendale which was awesome. He wasn't afraid of the slide that was literally three stories up even though I was. My heart was totally pounding when I went down with him. Forgot the cam. No pics of this. :(

We went to the Huntington Library and Gardens and saw the Chinese New Year celebrations and checked out every single statue from Poseidon to Artemis. We fed the ducks who ate out of our hands, saw all the flowers and trees and the bamboo garden and loved every green second of it and thanked the Lord for plants. Can you tell we live in the desert? Yeah.




Then we went to MOCA and I saw a Lee Mullican which got me all excited because of my work at the Herbert Palmer Gallery in the Melrose Triangle back when I was just single Alex. We ran around and saw Warhols and Pollocks and Krasners and Rosenquists and Miros and Rothkos and almost got kicked out for touching a chicken that was part of a three dimensional piece. It was awesome. The plane and car part sculpture outside was Harrison's favorite. He got really excited about it which made me so proud. He likes art. Again, I forgot the camera. This is when I really want an iPhone.

Then we had Dad and Kyle over for dinner which was so great. Kyle is so good with Harrison and such a mature 15 year old. I am so proud of him. He's a great conversationalist and he's thoughtful and helpful and polite. What a good kid. It made me happy to feed my Dad. I always worry that he doesn't eat enough.

Anyway, I feel so lucky and grateful to have had so much fun. It's been a long time coming, but that has only made me appreciate it more. I also feel so liberated knowing that Harrison and I can take road trips by ourselves and do just fine. He never fussed or cried in the car and he (finally) slept his normal hours in his pack in play. Foam was the answer, btw. Now Harrison uses any excuse to ask to go back to California. He just said, "Uh-no! My green jammies have a hole! Mommy we have to go to Burbank so Grandmama can sew it!" I guess we'll have to go back.

Things That Made Me Happy Today

1. The song Lisztomania, by the band Phoenix (go to iTunes or Rhapsody and listen, you'll love it)
2. Kiley's sugar cookies
3. A great babysitter!
4. Harrison running to my arms, shouting "Mommmmmieee!" when I came home after he's been w/ the babysitter
5. the "Interestingness" link on Flickr
6. The smell of Christmas Trees!!!
7. Seeing how much Pat's new co-workers like him and knowing he's doing a good job
8. Hearing Harrison sing
9. Getting H down for a nap and bed without a struggle
10. Being in my home
11. Hope for the future
12. Friends
13. Prayer
14. New Sharpie Markers to doodle with
15. Sound advice
16. Dum dums at Cumorah Credit Union
17. Pretending that it was ours

Lost Angeles

Tonight, I miss my hometown. Everyone who's been to LA may not understand this post. Don't take offense when I tell you this, but living in LA and visiting are two different things. It's true. LA is dirty and stinky and crowded and smoggy and sometimes dangerous AND there are fires, and when you're just passing through, that might be all you see. But you know what? I LOVE IT. Every last filthy crumb. Los Angeles has everything. It blooms all year...in every way possible. It has a pulse...like this constant throbbing for all things creative. It's so populated, but to my extroverted soul, having people around me everywhere I go is comforting. There's always someone to talk to.

I miss funny little things about it, like trying to spell Micheltourena (still can't) or trying to see if I can beat traffic by cutting through Dodger Stadium and winding around that road that passes under those huge oak trees. I love feeling the history everywhere. I love the noise. I love Spaceland and Swingers and the 4100. I love seeing Paris Hilton sitting next to me at breakfast in whatever trendy diner we're at. I love the rooftop pool at the Standard downtown and Canter's and the endless supply of art galleries. I love the Cannery and Santa Fe and 7th. I love the Melrose Triangle and Saturday mornings at Runyon Canyon with all the dogs and outdoor yoga. I love the Hollywood Bowl and Santee Alley, the Jewelry District, the Staples Center, and crazy all night hang outs and karioke bars in Korea Town.

I love the homemade radio stations that broadcast from the backyards of rebellious geniuses like Radio Free Silverlake. I love that people think to do things like broadcast their own freakin radio stations. I love how big LA is so that no matter how long you live there, you will never know all of it because it changes so much. By the time you get through it all and circle back around, the place you started has evolved. I love how you can go from an opera, to a movie premiere to an open mic to an all night deli all in one night. I love the Getty and NPR and the downtown library and the thrift stores and the farmers market and the canals and the boardwalk and the beach. I love the light in LA at 5am and 5pm. It's worth getting up for, or stopping to pay attention to. And yes, everything in LA is too expensive but it's worth it. I miss it. I guess I bleed blue. Or purple and gold. Will I ever feel this attached to Las Vegas? Does it just take time? To be fair, I did have 30 good years in LA. Maybe I just need a few more in Vegas. In fifty years, it might be just like LA. ;)

Another Day in Paradise

Do you remember the days when you attended a singles ward and there weren't any crying babies or screaming toddlers? I do. I loved it. I actually love Sacrament meeting. I remember I used to get so annoyed when girls in nearby pews were reporting details of their saturday night to their roommates/friends in barely hushed, giddy whispers...distracting me from the speaker. Now I'd kill to be able to sit in church with only a few collegiate giggles to block out so I could listen. Kill. Yeah, gone are the days. And it's not other kids that bother me...it's just my own. I am sure he's the loudest in the cultural hall.

Today was a day to highlight my pain. Pat is still out of town for work and I have to go to church with Harrison by myself. This is among my least favorite things to do. But you know how it is. You can't NOT go. Here's a play by play of how it went today:

We get there (almost) on time. Not bad considering Granmama left us :( this morning and we had to say our goodbyes before church. It's early enough to get a squishy seat in the back. Great. But we make the mistake of sitting in the middle of a row with large families on either side of us...ie: no easy way out. Harrison can do a lot of things well, and I'm so proud of him, but whispering isn't one of them. You can guess my lines: "Shhshhhh. No. We're in church. Reverent. Whisper. Quiet!" His went something like this:

After opening hymn: Claps loudly and says, "Yeaaaaaaa!"
During opening prayer: "Mommy! Mommy! Tractor Book!" "Where's new Tractor Book?"

Sacrament prayer: "Mommy, fruit 'nacks? Neeen bag (my diaper bag) fruit 'nacks?" Mind you, this is after the Bishop announced no more food in the cultural hall. We have like 300 little kids in the ward...it's just too many to keep things neat and we have to clean our own building so I guess they decided it'd be easier if there were no more eating in church. Harrison is having a hard time with this counsel.

Talk #1 (a Stake Representative): Harrison sees another little baby standing up on the bench of the pew and wants to do it too. And add jumping. But the little baby has inside shoes on, and can't really jump yet. Harrison has a hard time appreciating the differences and why I won't let him do it. I have to take him out. He's shouting, "No, no! NOOOOOO!" as we climb over the six person family to our right. I'm in steletoe boots and trying not to take out any of my friends with my heels or Harrison's flailing limbs as we leave the chapel.

After rest hymn, he stops crying long enough to clap loudly and say, "Yeaaaaaaa! Mommy, in there! Go in there!"

Now it's time for the Bishop's SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT to the ward: Harrison is screaming so loud in the mother's lounge (because I wouldn't let him back into the chapel until he was quiet, and he never got quiet) that I can't hear what the bishop's saying even with the volume turned all the way up on the room's speaker. *Sigh*

We're finally calm. He has quit asking me to "jump on pews" and "throw crayons" so we're ready to go back in.

Queue closing hymn: "YAAAAYYYY!!!"

Yeah. If anyone heard what the bishop said, please let me know next time you see me. I really wanted to know!


Who me? Cause trouble in church? Nevah!